G K cut more than a third.

297 to 185.  However, he did not send it as email attachments, as I told the class to do.

Edited

 

He quickly went back to the original time. At the room there was a memo. It was written, “Sorry about the basketball, but don’t be angry at him, be angry at me. By Edward.” Homes squished the memo. He trashed the memo. When he went to Edward’s house before, there was a room that Edward couldn’t show. He ran as fast as he can. Homes reached Edward’s house. He took out his gun. He went in. Homes hid behind the sofa. As he checked that there was nobody, he walked towards the secret room. He kicked open the door. “Hands up!” In the room, there was James standing. Behind him, there was Edward. Edward shouted, “Kill him!” Then James’ eyes became red.  Things around Homes all flew towards him. When Homes thought that James was only aiming at him, he thought of great idea. He ran towards Edward. Homes reached hands to Edward. Then James controlled a big sofa. The sofa hit Edward. Homes looked back, there was James smiling with his eyes usual. Homes said, “Lets go watch basketball.” They hugged each other.

Original

 

He quickly took out his gun and went back to the original time. At the room there was a memo. It was written, “Sorry about the basketball, but don’t be angry at him, be angry at me. By Edward.” Homes squished the memo in his hand. He threw the memo in to the garbage can. Homes knew where Edward was. When he went to Edward’s house, there was a room that Edward couldn't show. He ran as fast as he can, that was the first time that Homes ran so fast. Homes finally reached to Edward’s house. He took out his gun and placed in front of him. He softly opened the door and went in. Homes hid behind the sofa. As he checked that there was nobody, he quietly walked to the secret room’s door. When he was ready, he kicked open the door and said “Hands up!” In the room, there was James standing, and behind him there was Edward. Edward shouted, “ Kill him.” Then James’ eyes became red again. The things around Homes all flew to him, and he almost got hit. Homes were trying to only kill Edward, but he didn't know how. When Homes thought that James was only aiming him, he found out a great idea. He ran towards Edward. James was still throwing things to Homes. Homes reached hands to Edward and hold him tightly. Then James controlled a big sofa and threw it to Homes, but the sofa hit to Edward because Homes was hiding behind him. Edward got under the sofa. Homes looked back, there was James smiling with his eyes usual. Homes said, “Now, lets go watch basketball again.” They hugged each other for a long time.

After few minuets they reached the basketball stadium.